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In or out?


Some say that life gives us many opportunities, and when it gives you lemons you should make a lemonade. But how about that kind of opportunities that you aren’t even aware of, at least not until they’re dead and gone for good. Enjoying last night a Martini with my girls, I got to think about relationships of all kind, mainly about how we start and end them.

No matter the purpose and the length of stay, when walking into a door, a room, a relationship we bring something in and we carry something out. You may say –it’s the memories we make that matter, but I think it’s what we leave behind that makes us what we are in the future.

Moving from place to place, calling each time that new place a “home” isn’t ever too easy, even if you have no feelings whatsoever regarding one place or another. Each place marks you, with its beauty, with the memories you make there, with its odor, although sometimes you wish you could forget that no so pleasant smell.

If a place can do that to you, then I wonder, what a relationship does to you.

Walking in and out of relationships is a very tricky and yet exquisite job. We often think that we can make the rules as we go, but usually, if we don’t set them at the beginning we’re playing by someone else’s rules all along the way.

Beginnings are beautiful and pleasant if we are to speak of those romantic beginnings with butterflies and flowers, long soft kisses, holding hands and so on. But we all know what follows after the flowers wither and we kissed our way into the bed. Women are too complicated, too analytical and we try to find the underline in each sentence even when there is none. If we would think like men, separate sex from feelings (except passion, of course, cause the way I see it, passion is not a feeling, it’s an instinct, an animal one), things would be much easier. We would be able to enjoy each other’s company, bodies, touches and we could get on and off this train of passion whenever we’d please without consuming ourselves and the others around us.

In theory, it does sound good, but in life, how we separate sex from feelings, and how we know when enough is enough? It might be when we decide it’s time to move on, when the sex is bad or when we get bored, but if there are strings attached, can we cut them without leaving loose ends?

From my experience, there is no easy way, nor in or out, but for some reason, neither men nor women look for that easy path to follow, which made me wonder, are we masochists or are we foolishly enough to be brave and walk on the edge, hoping to get out alive and unhurt from what we call life, love, and happiness.

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